Our second session of Men's Roundtable Bible Study was this morning. It was on the "oneness", or unity, of marriage. This is THE CORE idea of marriage!
In Genesis 2 we read that God did not think it was good for man to be alone; therefore, God made a woman from the rib of Adam. Bone from my bone. Flesh from my flesh. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
This is not a "sexual" oneness that God is talking about. God is speaking of a "spiritual" oneness. The oneness that he speaks of is a spiritual truth that we must live into reality.
We looked at those things that keep our marriages from being ONE. I jotted down quite a few. Divorce (that's obvious). Sexual immorality (adultery). Children. Yes, children! Many times after the children are grown and leave the house, married couples realize they don't know each other anymore because the spent their entire lives making it all about the kids and not nurturing their marriage. Escapism/isolation from each other. This is when you do your thing and she does her thing. To Do Lists. This list can be never-ending and keep you from spending quality time with each other. Being tired. Sometimes there's not much you can do here, but be careful that it does not drive a wall between the two of you. Not including her in your life (stuff in your life that she is not aware of). Criticising her. Lecturing her. Not adjusting to new seasons of life. Keep in mind that life with 2 kids is not going to be the same as it was when the 2 of you first met. Make sure you adjust to what life brings you! Do not live in the past! Conflict. When conflict becomes about who wins and who loses, nobody wins! Unresolved conflict. Resolve everything! Not listening (every man's Achilles). Not talking or sharing your heart with one another.
We also, looked at those things that build ONENESS in a marriage. This is obviously not an all-inclusive list, but definitely suggests areas to begin with:
Trust. Getting her away from the stress and chaos of work and kids (try a date night). Listening and sharing your heart with her. Do a ministry together. Try to understand things from her POV. Communicate in love. Share common interest. Think proactively about your lives and family together. Pray together! Laugh together! SEX! Encourage her. Be vulnerable.
All of these things are not intended to be accomplished and achieved overnight, but they are "starter" ideas to get you thinking about "spiritual" oneness - to help you discern where you are struggling and why you are struggling.
Oneness is the foundation of marriage! In what ways have you hurt "oneness" in your marriage and in what ways can you start creating "oneness" in your marriage. These are questions that I will be working through over the next several days, weeks and months as we continue with this study. How will you answer them? I hope that we all find the "oneness" in our marriages that God intends for us to have!
You can listen to all of the Men's Roundtable Bible Studies here: http://mensroundtable.blogspot.com/
In Genesis 2 we read that God did not think it was good for man to be alone; therefore, God made a woman from the rib of Adam. Bone from my bone. Flesh from my flesh. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
This is not a "sexual" oneness that God is talking about. God is speaking of a "spiritual" oneness. The oneness that he speaks of is a spiritual truth that we must live into reality.
We looked at those things that keep our marriages from being ONE. I jotted down quite a few. Divorce (that's obvious). Sexual immorality (adultery). Children. Yes, children! Many times after the children are grown and leave the house, married couples realize they don't know each other anymore because the spent their entire lives making it all about the kids and not nurturing their marriage. Escapism/isolation from each other. This is when you do your thing and she does her thing. To Do Lists. This list can be never-ending and keep you from spending quality time with each other. Being tired. Sometimes there's not much you can do here, but be careful that it does not drive a wall between the two of you. Not including her in your life (stuff in your life that she is not aware of). Criticising her. Lecturing her. Not adjusting to new seasons of life. Keep in mind that life with 2 kids is not going to be the same as it was when the 2 of you first met. Make sure you adjust to what life brings you! Do not live in the past! Conflict. When conflict becomes about who wins and who loses, nobody wins! Unresolved conflict. Resolve everything! Not listening (every man's Achilles). Not talking or sharing your heart with one another.
We also, looked at those things that build ONENESS in a marriage. This is obviously not an all-inclusive list, but definitely suggests areas to begin with:
Trust. Getting her away from the stress and chaos of work and kids (try a date night). Listening and sharing your heart with her. Do a ministry together. Try to understand things from her POV. Communicate in love. Share common interest. Think proactively about your lives and family together. Pray together! Laugh together! SEX! Encourage her. Be vulnerable.
All of these things are not intended to be accomplished and achieved overnight, but they are "starter" ideas to get you thinking about "spiritual" oneness - to help you discern where you are struggling and why you are struggling.
Oneness is the foundation of marriage! In what ways have you hurt "oneness" in your marriage and in what ways can you start creating "oneness" in your marriage. These are questions that I will be working through over the next several days, weeks and months as we continue with this study. How will you answer them? I hope that we all find the "oneness" in our marriages that God intends for us to have!
You can listen to all of the Men's Roundtable Bible Studies here: http://mensroundtable.blogspot.com/
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