A Christmas Story

Not exactly what you expect to hear in late February, but I thought I'd take this time to share with you why I am now called Ralphie. Some of you already know and I'm sure still find it very funny. For those of you who don't know, well, here it goes .....

I am really not one to know a whole lot about guns. I did grow up with a BB gun that I used to shoot soda cans, paper targets and the occasional bird or squirrel. I know that you load it, cock it, aim it, pull the trigger and it shoots. I can't just look at a gun and tell you what type of gun it is. My friend Brian, however, grew up in the boonies and knows a lot about guns. He even owns quite a "few". To be honest with you, his wife knows more about guns than I do. She even has one that she totes around. Nonetheless, Brian called me one Saturday back in December and asked me if I'd like to go the shooting range with him and shoot some rifles. Like I said, I don't know a lot about guns, but I knew that I'd love to be around them a little more and get comfortable with them and learn how to shoot them.

So we're off to the shooting range! I am a little excited at this point, but after about an hour drive to the range, we find out that they are closed due to the Christmas holidays. Well "shoot"! So much for that! On the way home we stop by this gun shop and look at some guns and ammunition. It was starting to intrigue me even more. I wished that the shooting range had been open now. Oh well, back to Brian's house.

As we get to Brian's house he begins telling me about a pellet gun that he bought his 5 year old daughter. So that the day was not a complete waste, he suggested that we go out on his land (8 acres) and shoot out some holly hanging in the trees. I thought that would be cool! We go down by the creek and find a tree that had some holly in it and Brian takes a few shots. He then proceeds to hand me the gun and I hoist it up onto my shoulder and begin to take aim. I was having a little trouble looking through the scope as my eyes get really dry all the time. I blinked a few times and still could not see clearly through the scope so I brought the scope in just a little closer to my eye. There! I can see the holly and so I put my finger on the trigger and pull. Wham! That little bitty pellet gun kicked back and popped me in the eye. I didn't immediately say anything about the power of that little pellet gun until I go to wipe my brow. Wait a minute! Why am I bleeding? I looked at Brian and asked him if I was bleeding. Here was Brian's response ..... "Dude! You have a gash above your eye!" Of course that comment was followed by laughter. Brian is our kids pediatrician and so he says that we need to go to his office so he can stitch it up. As we walk from the creek back to the house he simply cannot stop laughing at me. Now does that sound like what a friend, a doctor even, should be doing at a time like this? We walk into his house and Brian regales what happened to his wife. What does she start doing? Laughing of course! As if that was not enough, she calls my wife to tell her of this "extremely funny" thing that happened to me. So, I have my wife, my friend and his wife all laughing at me while he is now glueing my head back together. Where's the love?

So now, I don't think I'll ever live that down. There's a certain phrase that I'll forever hear now at Christmas time everytime A Christmas Story is on TV ..... "You'll shoot your eye out!" Poor Ralphie! I now know what he must have been going through when he shot his brand new Red Rider BB gun and he shot his eye out. Fortunately for him, nobody saw what happened and he was able to muster up some tears and blame it on an icicle that fell and struck him in the eye. Unfortunately for me, Brian saw what happened and for me to muster up some tears would have only added to my embarrassment (besides, it didn't hurt that bad). I think what really happened was that I struck that holly "dead on" and it fell from the tree and struck me in the eye. Yeah! That's what happened! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

But don't expect me to wear a pink bunny suit next year for Christmas!

Some things, you never live down! I guess that's what friends are for!

Too Busy, Too Tired

My wife instructed me that I have not updated my blog in quite a while. It's true! It's been 10 days! However, I have been way too busy to update it lately and if I haven't been too busy, I've just been way too tired!

I have been working on updating our bathrooms, mainly our 1/2 bath downstairs. I am hoping to have that completed by this weekend. As soon as I get it done I will post before and after pictures so everyone can see what I've done. I know it's only a 1/2 bath and why in the world would it take me so long to update a 1/2 bath right? Remember, I have a 3 yr. old and a 5 yr. old that DEMAND my attention at all times! Also, Megan has been working overtime every night this week so I haven't had much time to get in there and finish it up! I will be extremely happy when it is done and can't wait to share the before and after pictures with you.

And for some reason, I have been extremely tired this week, too. By the time Megan gets home from work and the boys have been bathed and put to bed, all I want to do is sit down, relax and watch a little American Idol (Go Syesha Mercado!), or my favorite, LOST! Which by the way, last night's episode, as all of them are, was very good! The writers for LOST have to be the best writers out there! My wife and I love watching it and then talking about how much more confused we are afterwards. Each week they answer so many questions, but they leave you with just as many unanswered. It really is a great show! If you watch it and want to share thoughts on it, please send me an e-mail. If you don't watch it, you should go to http://www.abc.com/ and watch all the episodes from the beginning and catch up!

So, this weekend I'm going to try and finish the 1/2 bath and move on to the master bath or the boy's bathroom. I'll let you know how it goes! Oh, and by the way, I still have 2 leaky P-Traps!

P Trap Frustrations

You'll all be glad to know that I have not ran off to join the circus (as of today). In fact, my intrigue over the circus has diminished significantly over the last week. I'm sure it will not resurface again until next time they are in town. So with the circus having left town, what have I been doing? Well, I have been working on giving our 2 1/2 baths a facelift. We have replaced the "Old Yeller" formica laminate countertops from the 80's in each of the bathrooms with a cultured marble top. We have also replaced all of the chrome faucets with brushed nickel faucets. I must say that the new countertops and faucets have brought our bathrooms from the 1980's to the 1990's. All I have left to do in each bathroom is replace the brass light fixtures, find new mirrors, get new toilets, and paint over the 1980's paint on the walls and the cabinets. That should bring us "close" to being up to date! I can't wait to share with you my before and after pictures! We are very excited to be updating our bathrooms! I think you'll be amazed. If not, at least Megan and I will be!

However, I have had a major problem with installing the plumbing for the new faucets. You might have noticed that I entitled this post "P Trap Frustrations". What in the world is a "P Trap"? That's what some of you might be saying and that's what I was saying a week ago. A "P Trap" is the PVC piping that connects the drain pipe coming down from the sink to the sewage pipe going into your wall underneath your cabinets.


It's a pretty nifty setup. It keeps the gas smell from the sewer from coming into your home and stinking up your house. Anyway, I had to install new "P Traps" with each new faucet. Well, 3 out of the 4 are leaking. I spent 6 unsuccessful hours last Friday trying to figure out how to stop the leaks. So, I had to call my friend Brian, who happens to be a Jack of All Trades, on Saturday to help out. He spent an hour on them and they had all stopped leaking (or so we thought). Sunday morning before I left for church, I realized that the 3 began leaking again. To say the least, I am very frustrated and am ready to go Rambo in my bathrooms and throw a stick of dynamite underneath my brand new coutnertops and blow up the "P Traps" and everything else around them. Any suggestions on these leaks will be greatly appreciated! In fact, you are more than welcome to come on over and FIX THEM ALL!

The Greatest Show on Earth

This past Friday, Megan and I chaperoned Ryan's class to The Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I actually enjoyed it! I guess it reminded me of being a kid and just being awe struck at what the performers were doing with their individual talents. Nothing's changed. At 35, I was still awe struck at what these performers were able to do. It was amazing to watch! It was also quite nerve racking! I think the aerialist make me the most nervous. Not the trapeze artist (because they perform with a net), but the girls that perform in the set of rings high above the ground, the high wire motorcycle guy that thinks it's cool to stand on top of the seat at the highest point of the arena and start spinning around and upside down while a girl is hanging onto a bar on the other side of the bike, and this one guy that was walking upside down on the arena ceiling with his feet going in and out of these small loops. They all do this with no net! I think I would actually enjoy the show more if they used nets. Anytime the aerialist were performing, my palms just became soaking wet with sweat! I'm not kidding! I almost felt sick in my stomach while watching them, but for some reason I still could not take my eyes off of their performance. Anyway, I really did enjoy the show and have since become interested in the circus life! I have Googled the circus several times this weekend just trying to find out more about the history of it and anything else that I can find out about it. No, I am not going to go off and join the circus (keep your jokes to yourself), but the life that these folks lead and that talent that they have just simply amazes me!

So, since I have been to the circus twice this weekend (I took Tyler on Sunday because I liked it so much the first time), I have gone through this self-evaluation and asked myself - What are my talents and what am I doing with them? Most importantly, am I using them to glorify God? I would ask the same of you. What are your talents and are you using them to glorify God?

One more last thing about The Greatest Show on Earth. The Ringling Brothers might have the market on that for now, but one day, when Christ returns for His church, that will be The Greatest Show on Earth! I hope that you are not just watching it, but that each of you are actually a part of it!