SC: A Christmas Story

Not exactly what you expect to hear in late February, but I thought I'd take this time to share with you why I am now called Ralphie. Some of you already know and I'm sure still find it very funny. For those of you who don't know, well, here it goes .....

I am really not one to know a whole lot about guns. I did grow up with a BB gun that I used to shoot soda cans, paper targets and the occasional bird or squirrel. I know that you load it, cock it, aim it, pull the trigger and it shoots. I can't just look at a gun and tell you what type of gun it is. My friend Brian, however, grew up in the boonies and knows a lot about guns. He even owns quite a "few". To be honest with you, his wife knows more about guns than I do. She even has one that she totes around. Nonetheless, Brian called me one Saturday back in December and asked me if I'd like to go the shooting range with him and shoot some rifles. Like I said, I don't know a lot about guns, but I knew that I'd love to be around them a little more and get comfortable with them and learn how to shoot them.

So we're off to the shooting range! I am a little excited at this point, but after about an hour drive to the range, we find out that they are closed due to the Christmas holidays. Well "shoot"! So much for that! On the way home we stop by this gun shop and look at some guns and ammunition. It was starting to intrigue me even more. I wished that the shooting range had been open now. Oh well, back to Brian's house.

As we get to Brian's house he begins telling me about a pellet gun that he bought his 5 year old daughter. So that the day was not a complete waste, he suggested that we go out on his land (8 acres) and shoot out some holly hanging in the trees. I thought that would be cool! We go down by the creek and find a tree that had some holly in it and Brian takes a few shots. He then proceeds to hand me the gun and I hoist it up onto my shoulder and begin to take aim. I was having a little trouble looking through the scope as my eyes get really dry all the time. I blinked a few times and still could not see clearly through the scope so I brought the scope in just a little closer to my eye. There! I can see the holly and so I put my finger on the trigger and pull. Wham! That little bitty pellet gun kicked back and popped me in the eye. I didn't immediately say anything about the power of that little pellet gun until I go to wipe my brow. Wait a minute! Why am I bleeding? I looked at Brian and asked him if I was bleeding. Here was Brian's response ..... "Dude! You have a gash above your eye!" Of course that comment was followed by laughter. Brian is our kids pediatrician and so he says that we need to go to his office so he can stitch it up. As we walk from the creek back to the house he simply cannot stop laughing at me. Now does that sound like what a friend, a doctor even, should be doing at a time like this? We walk into his house and Brian regales what happened to his wife. What does she start doing? Laughing of course! As if that was not enough, she calls my wife to tell her of this "extremely funny" thing that happened to me. So, I have my wife, my friend and his wife all laughing at me while he is now glueing my head back together. Where's the love?

So now, I don't think I'll ever live that down. There's a certain phrase that I'll forever hear now at Christmas time everytime A Christmas Story is on TV ..... "You'll shoot your eye out!" Poor Ralphie! I now know what he must have been going through when he shot his brand new Red Rider BB gun and he shot his eye out. Fortunately for him, nobody saw what happened and he was able to muster up some tears and blame it on an icicle that fell and struck him in the eye. Unfortunately for me, Brian saw what happened and for me to muster up some tears would have only added to my embarrassment (besides, it didn't hurt that bad). I think what really happened was that I struck that holly "dead on" and it fell from the tree and struck me in the eye. Yeah! That's what happened! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

But don't expect me to wear a pink bunny suit next year for Christmas!