Redemption

This morning's Bible study was focused on a call to redemption within our marriages. Redemption is restoring what is broken. Just as God has shown us grace and mercy in redeeming us from our sins, we must also be willing to show that same grace and mercy to our wives (and even to others). If God can forgive us for ALL our sin, can we not forgive someone who may have done something to us (no matter how big or small)? We all have been in some type of conflict before with our spouse or another person and we all have allowed pride to get in the way of reconciliation and redemption.

We are all in desperate need of Christ's redemption. The redemption we receive from Christ should ignite a life change in us that is obvious enough to inspire others. If redemptive life change is not a part of your story, you are not going to be able to lead in the home! We must live out and walk in the forgiveness and redemption we receive from God. We must model the power of redemption by being willing to forgive. We must ask for forgiveness when we are at fault. We all "goof" up in our lives and in our marriages, but redemption allows us to be free to lead and free to fail.

The last question we were sent home with today was: What do you need to do to create a more redemptive environment in your home?

Uniqueness

This past week was very busy so I didn't get a chance to share about the topic from last week's Bible study. Last week's study was focused on the uniqueness between a man and his wife. Uniqueness, as it pertained to our Bible study on marriage, is defined as being "equal in value, but ordained with distinction". What does that mean? The equality comes in that we were all created "in the image of God". We are all equal in value to God. He loves us each the same. As far as being ordained with distinction, well, there are many obvious ways in which we are different: sexuality, hormones, personality, history, background, gifts, talents, etc. However, the most important ordained distinction between a husband and his wife are their individual roles and responsibilities.

Ephesians 5:23 says: For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church.

We are to be the leader of the home. We are not to be domineering husbands where we dishonor our wives or become one who is controlling and out of touch with the heart and emotions of our wives and children. We are also not to be disengaged to the point where we step aside and allow her to lead (that's our job). We are to lead as Christ. He is our model of the perfect leader. We are to honor, respect and love our wives and treat them with understanding. Love and respect is the energy in which our marriages should thrive. These are basically the 2 currencies used in a marriage. Give love, get respect. Give respect, get love.

It is a continual work in progress.

ONE-ness

Our second session of Men's Roundtable Bible Study was this morning. It was on the "oneness", or unity, of marriage. This is THE CORE idea of marriage!

In Genesis 2 we read that God did not think it was good for man to be alone; therefore, God made a woman from the rib of Adam. Bone from my bone. Flesh from my flesh. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

This is not a "sexual" oneness that God is talking about. God is speaking of a "spiritual" oneness. The oneness that he speaks of is a spiritual truth that we must live into reality.

We looked at those things that keep our marriages from being ONE. I jotted down quite a few. Divorce (that's obvious). Sexual immorality (adultery). Children. Yes, children! Many times after the children are grown and leave the house, married couples realize they don't know each other anymore because the spent their entire lives making it all about the kids and not nurturing their marriage. Escapism/isolation from each other. This is when you do your thing and she does her thing. To Do Lists. This list can be never-ending and keep you from spending quality time with each other. Being tired. Sometimes there's not much you can do here, but be careful that it does not drive a wall between the two of you. Not including her in your life (stuff in your life that she is not aware of). Criticising her. Lecturing her. Not adjusting to new seasons of life. Keep in mind that life with 2 kids is not going to be the same as it was when the 2 of you first met. Make sure you adjust to what life brings you! Do not live in the past! Conflict. When conflict becomes about who wins and who loses, nobody wins! Unresolved conflict. Resolve everything! Not listening (every man's Achilles). Not talking or sharing your heart with one another.

We also, looked at those things that build ONENESS in a marriage. This is obviously not an all-inclusive list, but definitely suggests areas to begin with:

Trust. Getting her away from the stress and chaos of work and kids (try a date night). Listening and sharing your heart with her. Do a ministry together. Try to understand things from her POV. Communicate in love. Share common interest. Think proactively about your lives and family together. Pray together! Laugh together! SEX! Encourage her. Be vulnerable.

All of these things are not intended to be accomplished and achieved overnight, but they are "starter" ideas to get you thinking about "spiritual" oneness - to help you discern where you are struggling and why you are struggling.

Oneness is the foundation of marriage! In what ways have you hurt "oneness" in your marriage and in what ways can you start creating "oneness" in your marriage. These are questions that I will be working through over the next several days, weeks and months as we continue with this study. How will you answer them? I hope that we all find the "oneness" in our marriages that God intends for us to have!

You can listen to all of the Men's Roundtable Bible Studies here: http://mensroundtable.blogspot.com/

C

C - My youngest son is having a difficult time with pronouncing this letter. He actually makes it sound like the letter "T". So for instance, instead of saying "car", he says "tar". Instead of saying "camera", he says "tamera". Instead of saying "can", he says "tan". We have been working on his pronunciation of this letter for a couple of weeks now. Occasionally, he will get it right and get so excited. Then, we he goes to say it again, out comes the "T" sound and he gets mad and frustrated. For now, it is one of those cute things that kids do.

Caedmon's Call - One of my favorite Christian bands. I haven't listened to them in a while, but when I do they sure do help me with my walk.

Candles - I know, why would a guy blog about candles? Well, I just like the smell of them!

Caribbean Cruises - What's not to like about this? Hot sun. Cool breeze. Crystal clear-blue water. Reggae music. Endless food.

Christ - But God commends His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) How cool is that?

Christmas - 86 more days! Tyler and Ryan are already composing their Christmas list.

Christmas Vacation - One of those movies I can watch over and over (and over and over) even when it's not Christmas time. In fact, it was just on the other night!

Church - It has been a long journey, but we think we might have found a new church home! Pray for us as we discern God's will for us in this matter! We have been very patient!

Clemson - Here's hoping that Clemson can defeat Wake Forest this Thursday night (for my wife's sake). If they don't win, I fear for Tommy Bowden's job.

Crimson Tide - I wasn't going to blog about this for fear that I might jinx them, but Alabama is ranked #2. This is their highest ranking since 1993. Hopefully, we can keep this up! We have a bye this Saturday then we play Ole Miss. After that, we play @ Tennessee. You hear that PH? Tell KH that the Tide is coming! Roll Tide!

A Husband and His Wife

This morning I was up at 5 AM so I could get ready to go to Bible study at 6 AM at Grace Church. That's right, 5 AM!!! For those of you that know me - that's hard to believe, but I managed to get up and get ready and actually get there EARLY. I know, another hard thing to believe!!! My family is not known for being early, much less even on time!

Anyway, we have been visiting Grace for about a month now and the men's group started a new 8 week Bible study this morning entitled "A Man and His Wife". You know, it's the type of Bible study that helps you to be a better husband, a more godly husband. I really don't need this study because I've got it all figured out. Actually, I should be teaching this study! Yeah, right! Now you can chuckle because you know I am only kidding! I am actually looking quite forward to this study and recognize that I need to be a better husband - a more godly husband! I'm not expecting this study to be some type of magic wand where when it is over my husbandry skills will be through the roof, but I do hope and pray that God speaks to me and BEGINS a work in me that is evident to my wife and kids!

This morning we spent an hour an a half talking through the first 3 chapters of Genesis and the fall of man. What does the fall of man have to do with being a good husband? Apparently, lots! When God gave the instructions not to eat of the tree, He was talking to Adam and only Adam. Eve had not been created yet. So when Eve was created, it was Adams sole responsibility to make sure that Eve knew of God's command and the importance of that command. We all know the story. Apparently, Adam didn't do such a great job. The serpent (Satan) influenced Eve who in turn influenced Adam to go against God's command. Adam then started playing the "blame game" and went so far as to blame God and the woman that God gave him. The nerve! Once the blame game was over and Adam knew that he was wrong, he hid from God and became a professional hider! He became passive in his mistakes instead of "manning up"!

Guys, we are just like Adam! We sometimes hide in the eyes of adversity and become these passive little wimps instead of "manning up". We are responsible for our wives and children and we are to lead our families spiritually. Pull your report card out and grade yourself real quick. OUCH! Yeah, it hit me right between the eyes, too! It is in our nature to want to take care of our families and we often do so in the areas of being a provider and authoritarian, etc., but we as men are being way too passive in leading our families spiritually! Why is that? Fear? Complacency? Passing the buck? Blame game? Many other excuses, I know! I also know that I have A LOT of work to do in this area and am praying that God gives me all that I need to do just that!

I hope and pray that God works in all of our lives and in all of our marriages so that they can be all that God intended for them to be!

The BIG House

Last Monday, I was invited by a friend (CJ) to go to this prison for worship and Bible study. CJ has been a part of this prison ministry for the last 12 years (every Monday) and has been asking me to go with him for a very long time now. I usually have something going on on Monday nights - basketball, coaching soccer, etc. - but last Monday night I was free so I told him that I would go with him. He was thrilled nonetheless. He said that it is so hard to get people to go with him to the prison. After my visit last Monday, now I know why!

I told him that I thought I had been there before with my youth group back in the mid-80's , but that was 20 years ago. I had mixed feelings about going simply because I would be around so many criminals at one time. Once we got there it was very intimidating to see how big the prison was and to see all of the barb wire surrounding it. We had to pass through several areas of security before we were allowed to enter into the common area where we were to have worship and Bible study. Once we got into the common area, the inmates who chose to come to worship (about 100 of them) were filing into the large room (about half the size of a gym) and CJ started introducing them to me. All of the inmates wore tan jumpsuits and were extremely nice and seem to be so grateful that we were there. It was amazing to see how excited some of these inmates were to see CJ walk into the room. It was almost like he was a celebrity. He obviously has known some of these inmates for a while and has built a friendship with a lot of them. So, I started to feel a little more comfortable as time passed.

After about 10 minutes of mingling we started worship which was VERY traditional. There was a prison ministry volunteer who played the piano as this older black gentleman would holler out and ask for hymn #'s for all to sing. There was your typical traditional hymn requests such as Amazing Grace and all of the others you know by heart. All of the inmates would just sing as loud and proud as they could. At first it was very intimidating, but as we sang each song I found myself singing louder and louder. I shared a hymn book with this older inmate who seemed very excited to be there. Once we were finished singing, we broke up into small groups and began having Bible study. I was amazed at how much the inmates in my small group were knowledgeable about the Bible. Some of them offered such in depth perspectives of Scripture that you would have thought that they were theologians or something. After about 45 minutes of Bible study it was time for us to leave and a lot of the inmates came up and said how much they appreciated us being there and hoped to see us again.

Once we got back in the car and started on our way home, CJ asked me questions about my experience of helping with the prison ministry. I told him that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and that I did enjoy being there and being a part of it. Then I asked the question that I wished I hadn't of asked. I asked him if he knew why most of these guys were in prison? I was expecting to hear him say that these guys were in prison because they had maybe stolen a car, robbed a convenient store, multiple DUI's, minor drug possession, etc.; however, he went on to tell me that most of these guys were murderers, rapist, pedophiles, big time drug dealers, etc.! Wait a minute CJ, back up! You mean to tell me that I just spent an hour in a room full of murderers, rapists, pedophiles, etc.? He went on to tell me that the guy singing next to me was in there b/c he had raped and killed a child. The guy sitting next to me during Bible study had raped a 12 yr. old girl. The guy sitting across from me during Bible study had stabbed a man. Apparently, I had my prisons mixed up and the prison that I thought that I had gone to when I was in the youth group was NOT this one! Turns out that the one that I went to when I was younger was for juveniles in a pre-release type program (minor offenses). These inmates were big time criminals! I had no idea! It's probably good that I didn't know that prior to going into the prison or else I might not have gone in so willingly. Don't get me wrong! It's not that I wouldn't want to minister to these inmates because God knows that they need him, too! To be honest with you, I couldn't get home fast enough to jump into the shower! There was just something about it that made me feel dirty. I think I washed myself from head to toe at least 3 times and stayed in the scalding HOT shower for at least 20 minutes. Was I going overboard? Probably, but it was almost as if I just couldn't help it.

The truth of the matter is that these inmates really do need to hear about the GRACE, MERCY and LOVE of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ! They honestly do! Although their crime has sent them to prison, some for maybe just a few months or years and others for one or more life sentences, it's really no different than our sin! Maybe we haven't' killed anyone physically, but remember that Jesus said that if we hate someone, we have committed murder in our heart. He also said that if we look at a woman with lust that we have committed adultery in our heart. I began to think of the types of people that Jesus reached out to in his short 3 years of ministry and realized that Jesus reached out to those that nobody else would. The ones that everybody else thought didn't deserve it. The down and outers of the world.

Honestly, I don't know that I'll ever go back to this prison ministry. It was an experience that really shook me for several days, but I will pray about it. If God wants me to be a part of that ministry He will move me and it will be done. But how many of us are really willing to get out of our comfort zone to go into an environment like that week after week - even just once? It is a question worthy of our time to pray about and answer! Maybe like me, the prison ministry is not for you, but what ministry is for you? When was the last time that you were inconvenienced to serve the Lord or meet the need of another? And believe me, I am speaking to myself just as much!!!

I would like to say that I am very proud of my friend CJ and the commitment that he has had to this ministry every Monday night for 12 years. It takes a special person to be involved in this type of ministry. Props to CJ!

Humble Pie Anyone? Anyone?

OK, I'll have some! In fact, I had some last night! Last night was our last game and the other coach served me up 2 slices of some humble pie! Mmmm Mmmmm Good!

The first slice of humble pie came when we were about to begin the game and the other coach came over and asked if he could have prayer with me and my team at center field before the game got started. We had not really done that with any of the previous teams that we played, but that really shouldn't catch me off guard should it? After all we are at the YMCA and I am a fellow Christian! I think it reminded me of why I was really suppose to be out there coaching these young boys. Yes, I wanted to make each child a better soccer player and I wanted them to have fun while learning, but I really should have done a better job with them in leading them to be Christian athletes and help mature them spiritually. My focus should not have been on how many games we had won and by how many goals. It should have been on leading (coaching) through Christian example. Now, I never expressed to the boys that we should go out there and win. I always stressed to them that the main reason we were out there was to have fun. That is true to an extent, but the main reason we do anything is to glorify God. Next time, I will stress that more than anything and I will remember that we should begin each game with prayer. I mean after all, I play on a men's basketball team and we pray before every game! Shouldn't we more so pray before every game with our kids to teach them the value of playing sports with a Christian attitude? Of course! Kudos to the other coach! By the way, he was at least 10 - 15 years younger than me!

As you know I have said that so far the boys' soccer team was undefeated. I shall now emphasize the word WAS. My second slice of humble pie came when his team, who by the way was much smaller (and much faster) beat the socks off of my team. I'm not sure what the score was because I stopped counting when it was like 4-0, but I'm pretty sure it was bad!

Nonetheless, we had a lot of fun and had our awards banquet at Fuddrucker's after the game. Each of the boys got a trophy and had a blast hanging out with each other!

Remember, LIFE IS GOOD!

How are you living?

Today, I met my wife for lunch at Anita's Mexican Restaurant. We don't get to meet for lunch often because of the distance between our offices, but when we do, I always enjoy it. It's not often that we get to have adult conversation without our kids. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being around my kids, but I love being with my wife, too. Nonetheless, lunch was great!

On the way back to the office, I was driving down I-385 and noticed a very large building "under construction" on my left and noticed a banner hanging from the rooftop with the following words written on it: HOW ARE YOU LIVING?

What a question! How are you living? Such few words spoken in the form of a question and I believe the answer to that question could change your life. How often do we stop and ask ourselves that question? As a Christian, it made me stop and really think of my answer to the question. Am I being a faithful follower of Christ in all aspects of my life? Am I being a godly husband to my wife? Am I being a loving father to my children? Even though I am 35, am I honoring my parents? Am I being the best brother I can be? Am I serving God like I could or should? Am I setting a Christlike example for my coworkers by my actions and the things that I say? Am I living a life that glorifies God?

It also prompted me to think WHAT AM I LIVING FOR? Am I living for my job? The next paycheck? Money? A bigger house? A nicer house? Material things? For someone else? For power? For prestige? For attention? For pride? For my church? What drives the decisions that I make each and every day?

I think that the answer to these questions lies within the answer to another question: WHO AM I LIVING FOR? Myself? Others? or God? If you are living for yourself, boy, are you sadly missing the mark! Self-centeredness is as far away from God as you can be! If you are living for others, well, that's a nice gesture and very thoughtful, but still not the right answer. Especially, if you are living for the approval and/or the admiration of others! The only right answer is GOD! The Bible says to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, strength and mind. In fact, it says that this is the greatest commandment! Then it says to love others as yourself. If we could truly answer this question and understand what it really means to love and live for God, I believe that we all would see the power of God unleashed in our lives, our families, our relationships, our work places and in our churches like never before! It should NEVER be about us! Let me say that again, because I need to hear it again myself: It should NEVER be about us! EVERYTHING should ALWAYS be about HIM! It was nice to be reminded of that today! Sometimes, we get so busy with everyday life that we lose our focus and lose sight of what life is really all about. I hope and pray that this causes you to stop and take a minute to answer these questions for yourself.

The Bible says that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Think about that! Isn't that reason enough to live for Him?

Bloggin' Ain't Easy

Shortly after my last blog, I had really decided not to blog anymore. I didn't feel like I really had anything to offer and I still feel that way, but nonetheless, here I am again and will try to give this one more shot! It's not that I don't enjoy blogging because I think that I really do. It's trying to find the time to blog. So, here's my second wind! I know that there has got to be at least a few people out there who check my blog and are interested in what's going on my life and for whatever reason, my brain. Some people read my blog simply to stay in touch and I appreciate that. To be honest with you, I have no idea who reads this blog. I know that my wife, Megan, and my friend Jessica read it from time to time, but other than that, I just don't know. If you do read it, please feel free to leave a reply every now and then.

Tell me that I'm right or tell me that I'm wrong!
Tell me that I made you laugh or I made you cry!
Tell me that you sympathize with me or tell me that I should get over it!
Tell me that I'm a dork or tell me that I'm the man!
Tell me something!

That will at least let me know that someone is reading it and that I should continue blogging.

To be honest with you, I think that we all blog everyday in our thought life. I know that I am always thinking about what is going on in my life and how certain events relate to me and my family. I am always trying to figure out what God is trying to teach me through different circumstances and how I am suppose to be living out loud for Him. The task at hand is taking those thoughts and putting them here, not necessarily for my thoughts to be exposed to everyone because some thoughts are meant to be private, but to help me learn from what's going on in my life and to share those special moments in life with family and friends.

Bloggin' ain't easy, but here I go again!

The Greatest Show on Earth

This past Friday, Megan and I chaperoned Ryan's class to The Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I actually enjoyed it! I guess it reminded me of being a kid and just being awe struck at what the performers were doing with their individual talents. Nothing's changed. At 35, I was still awe struck at what these performers were able to do. It was amazing to watch! It was also quite nerve racking! I think the aerialist make me the most nervous. Not the trapeze artist (because they perform with a net), but the girls that perform in the set of rings high above the ground, the high wire motorcycle guy that thinks it's cool to stand on top of the seat at the highest point of the arena and start spinning around and upside down while a girl is hanging onto a bar on the other side of the bike, and this one guy that was walking upside down on the arena ceiling with his feet going in and out of these small loops. They all do this with no net! I think I would actually enjoy the show more if they used nets. Anytime the aerialist were performing, my palms just became soaking wet with sweat! I'm not kidding! I almost felt sick in my stomach while watching them, but for some reason I still could not take my eyes off of their performance. Anyway, I really did enjoy the show and have since become interested in the circus life! I have Googled the circus several times this weekend just trying to find out more about the history of it and anything else that I can find out about it. No, I am not going to go off and join the circus (keep your jokes to yourself), but the life that these folks lead and that talent that they have just simply amazes me!

So, since I have been to the circus twice this weekend (I took Tyler on Sunday because I liked it so much the first time), I have gone through this self-evaluation and asked myself - What are my talents and what am I doing with them? Most importantly, am I using them to glorify God? I would ask the same of you. What are your talents and are you using them to glorify God?

One more last thing about The Greatest Show on Earth. The Ringling Brothers might have the market on that for now, but one day, when Christ returns for His church, that will be The Greatest Show on Earth! I hope that you are not just watching it, but that each of you are actually a part of it!